Today was the kind of day where I could feel the dark grey clouds covering the sky slowly seep through my pores and envelope my heart.
Nothing in particular, yet somehow, everything caused me to feel the darkness descend upon me.
I have days like this when I feel the pain of the world overcome me and replace my usual feelings of optimism. Periodically I found myself raising my eyes toward the heavens looking for a message, some sign that hope and joy would somehow replace the brutal sadness engulfing me.
On days like this, I recognize my old enemy, the sadness that numbs spirituality, motivation, and well-being.
I spent the entire day going through the motions, occasionally glancing at the sky, hoping for the sun’s rays to break through the dismal greyness and lift my spirits. Yet they did not appear.
Despite this, and unlike years ago when I had yet to discover my faith in HaShem, I knew I would not plunge into a sinkhole. I have learned that I can sit with these feelings while somehow observing them from a distance as they surround me.
Faith has taught me that the clouds will somehow dispel in the wind. I know now that I must simply recognize them, be patient and pray, and then keep moving forward. I know that HaShem will take care of the rest when the time is right.
Just before tefillat mincha, He sent me a sign. When I looked out the window, I saw gorgeous pink and orange sun rays decorating the sky. It was breathtaking.
I could feel the color and lightness begin to lift my spirits, and bursts of energy began to flow through my veins.
The evening has set upon us. And as the day is gradually nearing a close, I pray that G-d willing, tomorrow will bring about a new dawn with brighter things in store.
May He bless us with a kinder and gentler world where people spread love and acceptance, equality and equity. Where good triumphs over evil, and caring for one another is the norm.
A world of endless peace, love, healing, and health.
And may we be worthy of His grace and mercy.